Guy Fieri. Is He as Annoying to You as He is to Me?

Guy Fieri

Let me set the record straight. I love the Food Network just as much as anyone else.

No…correction. I friggin’ adore the Food Network. I have been a junkie for years, it’s just some of their programming peeves me a tad.

Let’s just jump to the chase. Guy Fieri.

Those two words can either get you bubbly like a fat school girl that just hopscotched over a Snicker’s bar or make you feel as if you are chewing on foil.

I don’t have anything personal him, I am not jealous of his success nor do I long to have his Joan Jett meets Courtney Love hairdo.

Let me share with you my, and the angst of millions of others.

Follow me….

He sounds like a complete tool and tries too hard.

There I said it. I jumped into the pool..it was cold…I suffered minimum shrinkage, but I did it.

Here are the top 10 things that Guy Fieri has said that has made me furious…and why.

( in the style of the David Letterman, Late Night Countdown)


(10) “That soup is GANGSTAH.”

( It’s soup. Nothing about any soup is “Gangstah” , unless it was prepared by John Gotti or Tupac. PERIOD! )


(9) “LOVE, PEACE and TACO GREASE.”

( Is that supposed to be sexual? Yuk!)


(8) “THE SAUCE IS MONEY.”

( No. The sauce is an accompaniment.)


(7) “I’m DRIVING the BUS TO FLAVOR TOWN.”

( You seem either intoxicated or heavily diagnosed with ADD. I don’t want you driving anything around me.)


(6) “OFF the HOOK.”

( I’m almost out of thoughts.)


(5) “DO YOU HAVE A GARDEN HOSE or SOMETHING I CAN CLEAN OFF WITH?”

(Use a napkin you slob.)


(4) “Holy-moly, STROMBOLI.”

( Nannie nannie foo foo)


(3) “SHUT the FRONT DOOR.”

( It was ok for Stacy London, of TLC’s What Not to Wear, to Say it..but that’s it.)


(2) “The BOMB.com.”

( Are you a 14 year old Valley Girl?)


(1) “WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER.”

( In the 70′s, the average Las Vegas bet was $2.00, as was the special chicken dinner advertised on the strip. I don’t get the correlation.) Besides this little history lesson….the saying is sooooo annoying.



AND ANOTHER THING….


In his cookbook:


Diner’s, Drive-Ins, and Dives: The Funky Finds in Flavortown: America’s Classic Joints and Killer Comfort Food

Anne Burrell’s brother from a different mother, I mean, Guy  writes:


“Amateurs, losers, and idiots use lighter fluid.”

(Don’t ever use lighter fluid — it’s un-American. Amateurs, losers, and idiots use lighter fluid. If you’ve bought this book, you are inherently none of those three things, so let’s make sure to teach others the correct way that real pitmasters start a fire.)

Jackass.. that’s all..plain and simple. Friggin’ Jackass.

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