Tequila Jacks Port Jefferson NY

When in Port Jeff just listen for the Island sounds of calypso music behind Starbucks and you will find what used to be the Elk Street Grille. If you are looking to come in and relax with ice cold drinks, cold oysters in a nice relaxed air conditioned atmosphere..skip this place!

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From 1850, carriages were built at this location. The carriage business continued here until about 1920, when the site officially became the Elk’s Hotel. Ownded by the Koutrakos family for more than eight decades the Elk’s name had been kept alive until it became Harrington’s Jazz Club then around 1999 to 2008 the Elk Street Grille owned this space.2008 Enter Tequila Jack’s Mainland.

From all of the incarnations that this space has seen this place seems to be the biggest dissapointment yet.

For appetizers we started with the Chef’s Selection of Fine Imported Cheeses. The selection included a total of nine pieces of cheese the size of a scrabble piece. 3 horseradish cheddar, 3 wasabi cheddar and 3 elderberry along with a generic stone ground wheat cracker..well, actually 7 crackers, 3 tbsp diced pineapple and about 2 strawberries sliced.  The cheese, I would swear, were Pathmark’s super value brand. The crackers were the quality of the ones that come in those big Hillshire Farm basket deals that you see at Walmart that are atleast 5 years old. And for the fruit..let’s just say it probably wasn’t organic. $15 for this was a total RIP OFF!

I swear, I look for what’s good but sometimes its harder to find that than Big Foot…or George Wallace selling quality food. (local Pt. Jeff Joke)

For appetizer #2 we ordered the Raw Bar for 2. $21. Carribian Cocktail Shrimp, Long Island Little Necks and Blue Point Oysters.

There were more chips in these oysters than Chips Ahoy cookie. The oysters arrived at our table room temperature. Room temperature oysters? That’s like having chicken sushi or an extra rare pork chop. Not good. They arrived on a platter with the shrimp in the middle and no ice at all to keep then cool. Within 2 min they were warm! There were 4 of us sampling and everone said the same thing. “How can Littlenecks taste like rubber bands?” and “How can oysters and clams stay fresh, safe and at the proper temperature with no ice bed?” Also the place was 80 degrees inside, the A/C was not turned on because they wanted everyone to hear the music as they passed by. No joke, I checked the weather..the humidity was 80%, it was muggy, humid and there were flies going from table to table. We were told that we had to put up with this stuff in Port Jeff in the summer. Everywhere else had air conditioning…PA-LEASE!

In the words of the prolific Chef Gordon Ramsay…”What Viagra buy cheap The F$#K are you F$#king A$$Hol#$ thinking? Someone can get bloody sick!

After we got our apps we decided that we needed to end this experiment, save some money and get out. If you are looking for a full dinner review, I am sorry I cannot help but I would love to hear your experiences.

Not all was shot to hell. The sauce that the shrimp were coated in was a sweet and tangy caribbean jerk style sauce that left a nice bit of heat on your tongue when you were done. That was delicious. We just hoped that it was enough heat to kill the bacteria in those room temperatue oysters.

So kids, here is the takeaway…It was so hot that the band even mentioned a few times,into the mic, that it was time for the manager to flip on the air conditioner, there were more flies in the bathroom than there are at the harbor during low tide and I bet this place will be about as successful as Kirstie Alley on a diet.

Check out http://www.oysters.us/opening.html for useful info on oysters. Warm oysters are a loaded gun. Friends Dont’ Let Friends Eat Warm Oysters.

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One Response to “Tequila Jacks Port Jefferson NY”

  1. Pete says:

    This is an awesome comment! I love raw oysters..thewse were nasty. I liked the shrimp too, the clam were ok but the oysters were all mangled and looked like gum. Whats up with the lack of air conditioning and no ice under the oysters. Did you notice the thick liquid under the oyster itself. yikes. Ill stick to the catch. They do oysters right.

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