The Trifecta of Pizza that Sucks: Fratellis in Stony Brook, Fatso’s Pizza and Mama’s Pizza in Centereach.

The quest for pizza on Long Island is as dreary and depressing as the weather has been lately.

Within the last 2 days I went to 3 pizzerias and here are the results.

Fatso’s “Gourmet” Pizza in Centereach, NY. Typical strip mall pizzeria in a town full of nail salons, car part stores, tattoo parlors and other pizzaerias. This place had a nice feel and was very clean. The girl at the counter was a nice American girl. And I think she may actually was of Italian decent. Wow, someone behind the counter that spoke english and was really nice. Anyway. I ordered a regular slice and a sicilian.

First I pick up my regular slice. it smelled nice, not too much oil on top but flopped like a wet napkin. The cheese glopped out on the plate exposing a palatable sauce. Not too sweet and not too tart with a decent amount of seasonings but lacking onion and garlic. It was a little think in consistency reminding me of Ragu Pizza Quick. This stuff was a staple in college so perhaps I just enjoyed the memories?

Next was the sicilian. This really was a mistake. As I took my first bite the cheese and sauce moved in unison and unveiled this really weird under layer. When asked how they make the sicilian the girl told me that he bakes a few squares of bread in the am, making the top of the crust brown then adds sauce and cheese. It was really weird. The cheese burnt flavored bread infected the sauce in turn making the cheese undesirable. Why would anyone bake the bread in the morning then just heat up the sauce and cheese. I’ll retry the regular again soon.

Mama’s “The Original” in Centereach, NY. Located inside an old mall, surrounded by a nice large gym and gymnastics studio, this run down pizzeria was hopefully going to do the job. It was around 6 p.m. and the pizzas on display all looked tired. I ordered a regular slice, not so hot.

As I took a bit and grafted the skin on the roof of my mouth I knew that I was in for it. It reminded me of biting into a Hot Pocket after being microwaved for 5 minutes. But the difference between a Hot Pocket and the pizza at Mama’s is the fact that I finished the Hot Pocket.

The dough was chewy and reminiscent of year old taffy. I actually had to chew it like jerky. The sauce was indistinguishable from Pappa John’s and the cheese was plastic-like. A good trait that it is a low-grade mozzarella and I kind of expected it.

And Saving the Worst for Last…..Drumroll please…………..

Fratelli’s Markeplace Stony Brook, NY.

Good Italian name, nice neighborhood, but a little too far from the city or real pizza civilization and too close to the college “drunk” pizzerias.

With five regular pies and seven brick ovens I thought that I was finally going to sit down to some Amore’.

I ordered the Grandma, very little sauce, cheese on a thin crust, The Eggplant Rollatine slice, with slices of their ”Famous” Eggplant Rolled With Our Ricotta Cheese Filling, and a slice of the traditional pie.  If I can’t say anything good about Fratelli’s in Stony Brook at least I can say they are consistent. Consistently crappy. All three slices had the same sauce. If you know pizza, you know that not all pizzas will have the same sauce. Some have traditional, northern Italian style, etc. NAH! Not here. All had the same , outrageously sugary sauce. It really tasted like they dumped sugar into it instead of parmesean cheese. The Grandma slice was very oily and the crust was crisp like a matzo. The Eggplant Rollatine slice had cold unseasoned eggplant slices, wrapped around cold unseasoned ricotta and the crust couldn’t keep up with the weight of the load on the top. Here is a little tip. When making eggplant, take the skin off. Last and Thank God last was the Traditional slice. I cannot make this up. After I was trying to eat my slice a girl pointed to the pizza on the counter and asked how how long has it been  left out. The guy behind counter said “Not too Long, really”. “How long is not too long?”, she asked. He replied. ” Abit over 4 hours.” CHECK PLEASE! I cannot make this stuff up. By then I already made my decision and had all I could possibly have. The crust was doughy but and very floury as if they were doing lines on the dough and someone sneezed.i? Does Everyone in NY know how much it sucks? I want my money back.
It’s Fratellis by a nose, wait Fatso’s is coming up from behind as Mama’s is putting on the pressure and it’s…it’s…it’s Fratellis Marketplace as the leader in crap pizza on Long Island so far. Actually, they are neck in neck with Colesso’s Pizza in Port Jeff Station.

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3 Responses to “The Trifecta of Pizza that Sucks: Fratellis in Stony Brook, Fatso’s Pizza and Mama’s Pizza in Centereach.”

  1. Bill S. says:

    You hit it right on the head. Fratelli’s pizza is so nasty.
    I do like their coffee. Seattle’s Best and they have good bakery stuff, but that doesn’t come from them anyway.
    As a resident I would appreciate it if they stayed open later than 7pm during the week. They used to be good when they had the Poetic Pizza man. He was a “real” Italian and made such good stuff. I think they have the spanish guys making it now.
    They were so hyped up when we were waiting for them to come here but the hype was for nothing. I also agree that Colisseo is overrated and bad. you can’t even get a real meal there. Only dull pizza and beer.
    Good reporting. Please review Station Pizza near the LIRR. You’ll love to tear them apart. :)

  2. Carol Salzberg says:

    You give the most honest reviews that I have ever seen and very accurate descriptions. I live in Centereach and agree. Fatso’s sicilian is horrible. What was he thinking?

  3. Great website, very readable clean content. You may want to try adding more pictures, but either way nice site.

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